Do you ever understand anything by looking at it straight on? Nothing important is in front of you. Take death. Look at it as hard as you can. Examine it. Break it into pieces. Put it back together. Even experience it. Nothing. Understanding slides in from the side. Behind. Below. Under. Uninvited.

Also,

But

Can the subject go into an object by using thought? or can it only increase its surface? Don’t you glue/clue intelligence/understanding to the outside of a thing, a stone, a cormorant, a canvas, Love, Death, the future, wrapping it, concealing it, perhaps suffocating it? Can the subject (you) penetrate anything (other)? Or does the object penetrate you?

Anyway, after being stuck on this painting for a couple of weeks I finally made what i hope is a breakthrough. I found a packet of dark red powder we must have bought in India. Not sure what it was. Perhaps a powder for throwing at people during Holi or something. Interesting smell. I mixed it with varnish and it made a sort of tomato purée. I obliterated the hill and the tower and other details to which id become attached but were stopping work. Also the big fiery square from the last foray that I didn’t feel was working. What do i mean, not working? Something that was stopping the work moving forward. Driving forward to the end. Not obstacles as they can be got round. Impediments? Well once these areas had been puréed i could start to move in on the dynamic areas. The areas so dynamic they are parts of the end. The purée had served its purpose but wasn’t dynamic. I mixed up a big saucepan of green that I didn’t like but couldn’t waste so i rollered it over the purée. Not sure what’s next. I might sand some areas back to see what has survived.